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Becoming an Ally to the Gender-Expansive Child: A Guide for Parents and Carers

by Anna Bianchi Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Pub Date:
Pbk 248 pages
AU$32.99 NZ$34.77
Product Status: In Stock Now
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When Anna Bianchi's grandchild asked, "Nanny, you do know I'm a girl don't you?", Anna recognised this as a pivotal moment in their relationship. She also understood that to fully support her grandchild, who had been declared a boy at birth, she needed to examine her own attitudes, beliefs and assumptions about gender. With reassuring honesty, depth and openness, she draws on her own experience, as well as interviews with gender expansive children and their families, to map out the path to becoming an ally. She explains why a child dressing, playing and communicating in gender fluid ways may feel provocative, how culture reinforces this and how parents and caregivers are frequently left feeling confused and isolated. She provides a step-by-step guide through this experience and explains how to undo and rebuild a personal understanding of gender.


For anyone eager to understand their child's gender experience, or to learn how best to accept, support and protect them, this book will provide knowledge, reassurance and the confidence to do so.


Market: Parents, extended family and foster parents of gender expansive children. Of secondary interest to social workers, youth workers, school nurses, teachers and education professionals.

Introduction: What is the Gender Matrix? 1. An Invitation to Become and Ally. 2. All Things Gender. 3. Encountering the Matrix. 4. Investing in the Matrix. 5. Maintaining the Matrix. 6. Unmasking the Matrix. 7. Labels that Help or Hinder our Children. 8. Approaching the Matrix. 9. Dismantling the Matrix. 10. Turning Outwards. 11. Living as an Ally. 12. Trusting the Future.

As the grandmother of a transgender child, Anna Bianchi provides a much needed perspective on an ally's journey through the Gender Matrix. Guided by her own family's process, and by the love for her grandchild, Bianchi gently coaches others to challenge their own gender assumptions, moving not only through acceptance, but towards an actual social transformation.
Anna Bianchi is grandmother to a gender expansive child. She has a background in social work and delivers training on the identity needs of children and young people. Anna is based in Bristol, UK.